Butters X Nelly
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Butters and Nelly start dating after their rivalry ended. And everyone is split about their relationship


PC Principal: I have had it with both of you!

Butters and Nelly were sitting in PC Principal's office because of a fight today

PC Principal: Why is it everyday I have to deal with you two?

Butters: Well she kicked me in the wiener

Nelly: Because you flashed me with it

Butters: Because you gave me a dirty look

Nelly: You are so un fucking believable

Outside PC Principal's office, Scott Malkinson and Kenny McCormick were outside waiting

Scott: Dude, are those two still at it?

Kenny: These two just need to make out

Scott looks at Kenny awkwardly

Kenny: What?

Scott: You have one fucked up mind, you know that?

Inside PC Principal's office

PC Principal: Ever since the gender war ended, you two just won't get along. I get you two have a hard time trusting each other, but that doesn't give you the right to flash your wiener in the school and you, the right to insult boys! I've called your parents about this incident

Nelly: When?

Stephen and Linda Stotch enter PC Principal's office along with one more person. A male with brown hair and green shirt and brown pants

Stephen: Butters! How many times do we keep telling you? "No flashing wiener in the school"

Nelly's Dad: Nelly! Why can't you just leave this behind?

Nelly: I don't know Dad, he's just a bastard

Suddenly the sound of babies crying are heard

Stephen: Linda, I know we're supposed to be pissed off but do you hear babies crying?

PC Principal: That's not important right now Stotch

Stephen: You're right

Linda: What will we do about these two?

PC Principal: May I suggest that you invite one of them to one of their houses for the day?

Butters and Nelly: What?!

Stephen: That doesn't sound like a bad idea

Nelly's Dad: I agree Stephen

Nelly: You can't do this to me!

Nelly's Dad: It's happening young lady whenever you like it or not

Outside PC Principal's office

Kenny: Oh Yeah. Those two are gonna screw

Scott: Kenny. I don't remember why we came to PC Principal's office in the first place

Stotch residence

Stephen: Now remember you two, don't kill each other or you're both grounded. I'm locking you both in Butters' room until dinner. Got it?!

Butters: Yes Dad

Nelly: Yes sir

Stephen locks the door

Nelly's Dad: Stephen

Stephen: What?

Nelly's Dad: I use that same method whenever my daughter has troubles with getting along with people

Stephen: Really? We must have something in common

Nelly's Dad: Nah! Just a coincidence

Butters' Room

Nelly is sitting on Butters' bed playing on her phone whilst Butters is sitting on the floor

Nelly: Do you know why I hate you Butters?

Butters: Because I kicked you in the vagina and flashed my wiener at you

Nelly: Not just that. You act so happy all the time it drives me insane and you are so gullible that you team up with Eric Cartman who has such an offensive and stupid plan

Butters: Thanks for being so honest with me. I hate you because, you started the war

Nelly: No I didn't. You flashing your wiener at the girls basketball game started this war

Butters: No you started it when you said that SkankHunt42 spoke out on our behalf and you made all the girls break up with their boyfriends. Boy you should've seen Stan when Wendy dumped him for the second time. He still keeps the note, he thinks everyday that there's something wrong with him and he has to try and fix it

Nelly: Oh fuck you! Like that's ever gonna make me feel sympathy for you

Butters sits down in silence. Avoiding eye contact with Nelly

Nelly gets off the bed and walks to Butters' desk to find a picture of a Canadian girl with a pink skirt, a blue coat and brown hair

Nelly: Butters, is it ok if I ask is this your girlfriend?

Butters: Oh Yeah she was. She broke up with me because she wanted to side with you girls

Tears start rolling down Butters' face

Butters: I didn't start the war for Stan. I started the war because, I was angry that Charlotte dumped me and I blamed you for it. I loved her Nelly, I really did. I'm not a monster Nelly. I just didn't know how to handle the situation. I could've listened to another one of Kyle's faggy plans, but I was too angry. I miss her sweet voice every day. That sweet, soothing Canadian voice. I'm sorry for everything I did and I'm sorry for what's happening right now

Butters starts to cry whilst Nelly looks at him with guilt and walks up to him and sits down next to him

Nelly: Butters. Don't feel ashamed for crying. I get that you miss her. Sometimes, I miss my ex boyfriend. Butters I know you're a sweet guy and any girl would be very lucky to have you

Butters: Thanks Nelly that means a lot

Butters hugs Nelly

Nelly: Although if you hug me I will pull your arms out of your sockets

Butters: Sorry

Butters stops hugging Nelly

Nelly: So you wanna play Red Dead Redemption 2 online or something?

Butters: Yeah

5 hours later

Butters and Nelly are still playing Red Dead Redemption 2 online. Stephen enters the room

Stephen: Oh. You haven't killed each other

Butters: No Dad. We only killed each other on Red Dead Redemption 2 online

Stephen: Ok. By the way Butters, you're grounded for murdering me on Red Dead Redemption 2 online

Butters: Gosh Darn-it

Nelly: You get grounded for ridiculous reasons?

Butters: Yeah

Nelly: I get grounded for ridiculous reasons too

Butters: Really?

Nelly: Yeah!

Nelly's Dad: Nelly time to go

Nelly: Ok Daddy. Butters, it's been fun hanging out with you today. You're actually a pretty cool guy

Butters starts to blush

Butters: Thank you Nelly. I hope we become friends

Nelly: I'll see you at school Butters

Butters: See Ya

The next day at school

It was lunch and Stan, Kenny, Token, Cartman, Kyle, Jimmy, Clyde and Scott we're sitting down having their lunch

Kenny: So you guys heard what happened with Butters the other day

Cartman: He got his weiner castrated by his Dad

Kenny: No dude. Oh and that's fucked up. A girl went to his house the other day and-

Cartman spits his food out of his mouth hitting Token

Cartman: Sorry I felt like spitting my food at Token

Token: Fuck...you

Cartman: What was it you were gonna say Kinny?

Kenny: Butters had a girl over his house

Cartman spits out his food hitting Token again

Token: Ok. Next time he does that I'm changing seat

Cartman: Butters had a girl over his house

Kenny: Yeah

Cartman starts laughing

Cartman: You're bullshitting me Kinny. No girl would ever go to Butters' house. He's a wimp

Stan: Wait didn't Butters have a Canadian girlfriend?

Kyle: Yeah. But she never went to his house

Cartman: But a girl went to Butters' house. Who was it Kinny?

Kenny: Nelly

Cartman starts laughing

Cartman: No seriously Kinny who was it?

Clyde: It was Nelly, I saw her leaving his house the other day

Cartman continues to laugh

Cartman: Are you serious Clyde? You and Kinny must be working together with this hilarious joke bravo

Cartman starts to clap

Jimmy: That isn't really fun-fun-fun-funny. I should know this be-be-be-be-because

Nelly walks past the table

Cartman: Here she comes. Hey Nelly, did you really go to Butters' house?

Nelly: Yeah

Cartman: Oh. So it wasn't a joke?

Nelly: Who said it was?

Cartman: Why did you go to Butters' house?

Nelly: None of your concern ass wipe

Cartman: Do you have feelings for Butters?

Nelly: No. Wait do I?

Nelly walks off

The gymnasium. The girls are practising women's basketball

Wendy: Alright girls. Our match against North Park is only in two day so we better start practicing. Nelly you paying attention?

Nelly: Huh. What?

Wendy: Nelly we're practicing for our match against North Park

Bebe: Is something on your mind Nelly?

Nelly: It's nothing girls. Forget about it

Red: Something is bothering you Nelly. I can tell

Nelly: Alright. I think I'm in love

The Girls: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH

Bebe: Who is it?

Nelly: Oh. No one

Heidi: Come on tell us

Nelly: You may not like it

Heidi: Do you like Eric Cartman? Because if you do than you are making one big mistake! He'll turn you into a racist, cruel, fat bitch and if he does that I'll fucking kill him in his fucking sleep

Wendy: Heidi. Heidi. Heidi. Breathe, breathe. There we go

Heidi calms down

Nelly: Well the boy is...Butters

Nichole spits water out of her mouth

Bebe: What?

Wendy: Butters Stotch?

Nelly: Yeah. He's so nice and cute and-

Nichole: And flashed his wiener at our fucking faces

Nelly: Well I spent the day at his house and he's not a bad guy. He just didn't know what to do with the situation he was in

Nichole: But he flashed his wiener in our faces

Nelly: But that's in the past

Red: And made our boyfriends a part of his movement

Bebe: Do you realise I still have nightmares about that?

Nelly: But girls. It's over now. Can we just let it go?

Nichole: You've gone soft Nelly

Wendy: Look girls Nelly can like any boy

Heidi: Unless it's Cartman

Wendy: Yes Heidi, unless it's Cartman

Nelly: I don't know what to do. Should I tell him?

Wendy: Maybe you should Nelly. Just be confident Nelly

Nelly: Alright I will

Nelly leaves the gymnasium

Bebe: If them two start dating than I am totally unfriending Nelly

Red: I agree

Annie: Me too

Nichole: I'll do it

Wendy: I am surrounded by intolerant idiots

Basketball court

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Butters, Craig, Token and Clyde were playing basketball. Nelly enters the court

Nelly: Butters can I talk to you?

All the boys except Butters are unhappy to see Nelly

Butters: Sure Nelly

Butters walks out of the basketball court and he and Nelly sit on a nearby bench

Butters: What's the matter Nelly?

Nelly: Butters. I don't know how to put it

Butters: You don't know how to put what?

Nelly: Butters ever since I've hung out at your house, I've been starting to get these feelings

Butters: Feelings?

Nelly: Yes feelings

Butters: What kind of feelings?

Nelly: Butters, I...I...I...

Butters: You...You...You?

Nelly: I...I...I...I...I oh fuck it

Nelly wraps her arms around Butters' neck and kisses him on the lips

The other boys look on in horror

Cartman: No...fucking...way!

Clyde throws up, Craig covers his eyes, Token runs away and Kyle just looks on in confusion

Stan: I don't see what the problem is

Nelly stops kissing Butters and breaths heavily

Nelly: I'm sorry Butters I had to get it out

Butters: No it's ok

Nelly: No it's not

Butters: Nelly. I kind of have feelings for you too

Kyle still looks on in confusion

Kyle: I don't understand. How can two people who hate each other suddenly fall in love?

Craig: This is the most fucked up shit I have seen in my 10 years on this planet

Nelly: You've had feelings for me?

Butters: Yeah. I didn't know how to tell you. Because I was scared that you still hated me

Nelly: Butters I still hated you until now

Butters: So. You wanna come down to Stark's Pond with me? Just the two of us?

Nelly holds Butters' hand

Nelly: Sure. I'd like that

Butters and Nelly got off the bench and headed straight off to Starks Pond

Cartman: Dude. I have to tell everyone about this

Stan: Like that's gonna be news of the world

The next day at school

Jimmy is walking to class until Cartman came up to him

Cartman: Hey Jimmy

Jimmy: W-w-w-wha-wha-what?

Cartman: Butters is dating Nelly

Jimmy: W-what-what?

Cartman: I know it's fucking crazy

Cartman walks away

Jimmy goes up to Kevin Stoley and Red

Jimmy: Kev-Kev-Kevin, Red

Red: Yeah

Jimmy: Have you her-her-her-her-heard that Nelly is going out with Butt-Butt-Butt-Butters?

Kevin: What?

Red: I need to tweet this

At the kindergarten class

Ike: Butters is dating Nelly

Filmore Anderson: So?

Ike: They were enemies and now they're smooching

Butters and Nelly walk down the hall holding hands. Whilst everyone looked on in either confusion or discomfort

Butters: Babe. I don't like the way they're looking at us

Nelly: Hold on Sweetie

Nelly lets go of Butters' hand and starts to get angry at the other students

Nelly: What the fucks your problem? Why the fuck are you staring at us like that? Stop staring at us like that or I'll shove your arms up your butts!

Nelly holds Butters' hand again and calms down

Nelly: Better babe?

Butters: Better

Kyle: I don't get it

Stan: What is there not to get Kyle?

Kyle: How can two people who've hated each other suddenly start to like each other?

Stan: Kyle I don't see what's so confusing about it. I think it's cool that Butters has a girlfriend

Cartman: Let me explain why Kahl is confused Stan. It's because he's Jewish and Jews are retarded

Kyle: Fuck off Cartman

The playground at recess

Butters and Nelly are sitting by a tree just cuddling. While Wendy, Bebe, Nichole and Heidi watch from afar

Bebe: This is stupid. I am totally unfriending her

Wendy: I seriously don't see what the big deal is

Heidi: She shouldn't be dating Butters after what he did to us

Nichole: Now don't say anything Heidi. You barley did anything to stop the problem. All you did was make out with Cartman

Heidi: Stop reminding me, stop reminding me

Wendy: Girls. Should we be happy that Nelly and Butters are finally getting along after the Gender War ended

Nichole: We should be. But there doing it in a way we didn't want it to be

Bebe: We will never accept Nelly dating Butters

Wendy: Now girls remember it took you a while for you to accept that I was dating Stan and I was happy with it, so maybe if you just give it time let's say a month, maybe you'll learn to accept it

One month later

The school cafeteria

Wendy, Bebe, Annie, Heidi, Red and Nichole were all at the lunch table having their lunch

Bebe: I will still never accept them as a couple

Wendy: Oh for fuck sake. I don't see what the big problem is. Butters has changed and all you can do is bitch and moan about it

Annie: It's their one month anniversary and look at them. They're sharing spaghetti and meatballs

Annie was right. Butters and Nelly were sharing a plate of spaghetti and meatballs.

Annie: What are they trying to do a Lady and The Tramp?

Wendy gets off the lunch table

Bebe: Hey where are you going?

Wendy: I have had it with your mother fucking bitching in this mother fucking cafeteria

Wendy goes around the cafeteria trying to find a seat. Until she notices Stan sitting alone and goes to sit next to him

Wendy: Hey Stan

Stan: Hey Wendy. You got kicked off your lunch table too?

Wendy: No I left after getting sick of them complaining about Nelly and Butters

Stan: I got kicked off by everybody

Wendy: Why?

Stan: Because I tolerated Butters and Nelly as a couple and all those guys could do was bitch and moan about it. Whilst Kyle is still confused about it

Wendy: Well at least, we do have this lunch table to ourselves

Butters and Nelly sat down at the same lunch table Stan and Wendy are at

Butters: Hey fellas

Stan: Oh Hey Butters

Wendy: What made you change lunch tables?

Nelly: Because Cartman was giving us dirty looks. I don't understand why you're friends with him babe

Butters: I sometimes don't either

At Cartman's table

Cartman: This is bull crap. They can't be together, they hated each other and now they're suddenly together

Token: Ok. I think I'm getting tired of complaining about Butters and Nelly

Clyde: Me too

Craig: I'm not. I hate Butters and Nelly. Wait it has become boring

Cartman: Why are you guys stopping?

Tweek: Because we learned how to tolerate AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Cartman: But them two should not be together

Jimmy: Cartman the reason w-w-why your still com-com-com-com-plain-bitching. Is because you li-li-like her

Cartman: Jimmy that's bullshit and you know it

Token: Well you do keep complaining about them so it is totally obvious

Craig: Come on guys. Let's leave fat ass to complain

Craig, Tweek, Jimmy, Token, Clyde and Kyle left the table to sit somewhere else

Cartman: Fuck you Craig. Dammit. I've made Butters' life a misery before and now he's making mine a misery. Wait, I know how to make his life a misery again

The next day

Stotch residence. Exterior

Butters and Nelly were just walking home from a date

Nelly: Thanks for taking me out again Butters

Butters: You're welcome babe. You want to come into my house for a while

Nelly: That's sweet Butters. But my Dad said I had to be home by 8:30

Butters: Oh doesn't matter

Nelly: I'll see ya later tiger

Nelly and Butters than gave each other a kiss

Butters went inside his house still smiling, whilst Nelly started to walk home. She gave Butters a wave before she continued to walk

Butters started to head upstairs in his room. He opened his door and the smile on his face suddenly changed to shock. Butters saw a Canadian girl with a pink skirt, a blue coat and brown hair sitting on his bed. It was his ex girlfriend Charlotte

Charlotte: Hello Butters

Butters: Oh my God! What's that smell?

Charlotte: Sorry I queefed when I was alone

To Be Continued...


End file.
